II

Isilya ~ Monday

A veil of gold is slowly dropping down around me. The loftiest peaks surrounding my realm received their first dusting of snow during the night and there is a briskness in the air. Fall is here with all of its color and glory. It is the season of falling leaves and finding forgiveness. Just as my friends, the trees, are beginning to drop their raiment, I am once again reminded to drop all harborings of bad feelings. What has been done is past and often I ask myself, why do you go over all of that old stuff? I admit to having trouble with these issues. Forgiving means forgetting and being rather gentle in my essence, I tend to completely forget, thereby walking right back into the same situation. Perhaps being a bit cautious is the answer. I am clueless and spend countless hours thinking about these things.

This has been a season of extreme busyness for me. I have been traveling and visiting almost weekly. The days of boring sameness seem attractive. Fatigue has been my companion and I long for rest. However, before the snow flies, I must continue on. Just today, I felt the need to merely sit down and not move another foot forward ‘til the excessive stimulation settles. In fact, many times I think about sitting outside in the yard on the ground and doing nothing at all. My only adornment would be a sack pulled over my head.

When the stuff of life comes at me in such high speeds, I feel the need to get very still and empty out my mind. After a brief time, coming back to a busy schedule seems not to be so daunting. In fact, my entire view is different and I feel refreshed. What looked so overwhelming seems so simple. Often, I amuse myself by wondering what all the fuss was about. The amazing thing is that in the total scheme of things, I begin to see a pattern and begin to understand how things I did not understand really do work for the better. However, when I am in the middle of all the “muck” I am aware of nothing that makes any sense at all. One step outside of it, and there presents itself an order and a reason.

Occasionally, all of my best laid plans and designs run astray, and they are placed into a jar and shaken into such a disarray that I am totally confused. I feel overpowered and I just can not go another step. This is the time to take a deep breath and step away from the situation. Every time, my mind clears and it is with renewed vigor that I can press on to the end. Such is the way with daily living. This skill eludes me but I am getting much practice of late.

Those winter days of cocooning in are becoming more attractive by the moment. What a delight to snuggle with my kitty and a cup of tea. Just hearing a friendly purr and having my hands wrapped around a warm cup always brings such satisfaction. In fact, the memories of it are lifting the corners of my mouth into a smile.

May you dream and be refreshed by your memories ~ Tasarwen

end of page
back home

I

Isilya ~ Monday

Long, I have been away from my writings. August has softly slipped away, and September has quickly come onto the scene. Summer is on the wane and there is a feeling of fall in the air. Mornings have become dark and at times I am fooled by the morning darkness. Even though I am awake very early in the morning, I find it hard to crawl out of my warm and cozy bed. In fact, my bower is my safe place. I work very hard to make sure nothing bad happens in that room. When on the phone with someone who is being antagonistic, I leave my sanctuary and finish talking elsewhere. Having a safe space is so very important to me. In the past, I never gave it much thought. However, after over ten very difficult years, I have become much more protective of my peace of mind.

Recently, I was helping a friend to paint a room. High upon the top rungs of a ladder, while my mind was drifting, a thought came to me. How much nicer it would be if someone else could be up there, carefully running a brush against the ceiling. What a gift it would be if someone else could do all the taping and careful prep work that it takes to paint a room well. Painting does put me into a trance and I really enjoy the peace and quiet of it. Moving the brush first one way and then another creates a dance motion and is very graceful. The experience is soothing. However, after many trips up and down a tall ladder, I was beginning to feel a bit tired.

Later in the day, I stood back and looked around the room. It was painted a beautiful shade of sea green; the same green that is seen when looking through a wave that is about to break upon the white sands of a beach. It was quiet and tranquilizing. Quickly, I realized that by doing it myself, I accomplished something very important. The value of achievement became apparent. By doing nothing myself, I am convinced that I would simply become a blob.

Perhaps it is human nature to be a bit lazy from time to time. However, without that feeling of accomplishment where would we all be? Working hard and being able to stand back and see results certainly gives a person a sense of worth and confidence. Maybe, a life of ease without any investment of time and effort is not a good idea. Although, I have to admit a bit of ease can be a time of bliss.

With fall looking straight at us and beckoning with open arms, promising beautiful days of sapphire blue colored skies behind brilliant colors by which the trees clothe themselves, I am reminded how much one learns from season to season. Along with cool, brisk days comes that never ending desire to prepare for winter; a time of rejuvenation.

May you always see the value in your everyday tasks ~ Tasarwen

end of page